Cheap games are like a zerg rush on your free time

I'm not the first one to sing the praises of the insane sales that happen on digital distribution sites like Steam. Games that retail for $60 can sometimes drop down into the teens, and games that are in that $20 will-I-won't-I range, where you are so close to an impulse buy anyway will drop down to less than the price of lunch. How do these people make money? I have no idea- but I give away toys to children for free, so what do I know about margins?

I have done a truckload of gaming and still have created a larger backlog than when I started 2010 because of the lunacy of men like Gabe Newell. It is a horrendous, dangerous, beautiful thing and I hope that each and every one of you kiddies has had a chance to enjoy the same.

What, did you think I was dead?

Time to Raise the Dead

I don't get out much... online that is. I get out plenty in the real world- because brains don't come to you, you need to go to them!

I digress.

Occasionally I like to fire up up the old magic box and take a stroll down the information walkway. I'll peek in here, read a little there, but very rarely do I make an appearance anywhere else online. I kind of have a mystique to keep up, you know? If kids thought that old Santa was a guy you see everyday there sure would be a few less offerings of milk n' cookies laid down at the hearths of hopeful homes holding out for holiday happiness.

I don't generally care for the cookies, but the milk often attracts a delicious cat or two for the taking. Cat's brains, while not filling, can be delightfully appetizing when you are in a hurry.

But where am I going with this diatribe? One of the sites that I used to visit has contracted a terminal case of apathy. No posts, and comments that are languishing in moderation. For shame! What we need is a good old fashioned raising of the dead. A voodoo hootenanny, where we roll the old bones out and make 'em dance with supernatural fervor.

I can't do it alone. I beg you to visit this site. Leave a comment imploring the author to post again. To wake from his slumber. Do it for me. Do it for the children. Do it for the creeping undead flesh of blogs that fall by the wayside every day!

RAISE ME FROM THE DEAD!

EDIT: It worked! He lives!

All work and no play...

I'm sure you assume that my rotund shape is due to the fact that I only work 1 day out of the year.

Most people assume that I spend 364 days out of the year sitting on my kiester watching the workers in my elf sweatshop to produce entertainment goods for spoiled children that have managed to convince themselves that they were good. (Despite all of the horrible things that they have done, and all of the lies that they told to those that they loved these children still thought of themselves as worthy of some kind of gift to celebrate their "goodness". I digress.)

I have a softer side. From earlier post, you see I like to read and engage in playful games in a simulation of the inevitable undead apocalypse. Little did you know that I also have a penchant for the licensed TV drama spinoff re-imagining themed boardgame. Come into the drawing room and sit for a while, as I regale you with stories of light-hearted playfulness in the world of a mini-series/soap opera.

Truly, this is a bonding experience- the game is co-operative! Each player is one member of a group working to help humanity escape the clutches of a brutal group of evil robots (that they created to be helpers! such bad robots!) and find your long lost brethren. You're all working together to help reunite family!

Unless one or more of you are actually evil robots in disguise.

This game is built on paranoia, fear and deception. Add in the frequent result of all of mankind's extinction and you have yourself an absolute lock for best family game of the decade. Don't like the fact that your dad is always telling you to how to play? Convince your mother and sister that dad purposely played his turn poorly, or is so inept that he was lucky to have reproduced, and so he must be a Cylon . Throw him in the brig and strip him of his presidency so that you can take the title and help win the game for the humans!

You may get grounded, but when Dad sees you announce that you are, in actuality, a Cylon and then proceed to dash the hopes of the humans you will know that true joy that comes with the crushing defeat of others. Your father will hopefully see that he managed to defy genetics to produce one of the finest minds of your generation. Nah, the guy totally misplayed that nuke when he was Admiral- what a loser.

Spreading the holiday plague... errrr... cheer

All credit goes to Gary of war. A little Zombie Santa goes a long way towards raising your spirits straight out of the grave. And not to worry, the glassy white eye can still see you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake. It also can spy into the depths of your soul, but only on Fridays or during a full moon.

Now excuse me while I go skin some reindeer...

Why do children cry?

This is the time of year that all children should be most excited about. Regardless of what you've heard, children both good and bad are about to be showered with gifts; toys, brains, candy, feet. It is all of the benefits of having a birthday, but without the hassle of having to invite people over and feed them cake. And the best part is- all of your friends get gifts too! What's not to love about this holiday?

Your parents will be cooking up a slew of tasty dishes like roast beast, mashed pota-toes, and steaming bowls full of multi-colored vegetation. All of the relatives that normally shun you will come to your house and pretend to like you and your family just long enough to get liquored up and belligerent. A lucky few will hear the clawing at the door of those that are damned to walk the earth for all eternity. It's X-mas, kiddo!

Now smile and wipe the blood from Zombie Santa's boots!

Ho Ho H- BRAAAAAINSSSS!!!

Now is the time of year when all good boys and girls should prepare their soft, tender, delicious brains for Zombie Santa. No amount of lethal weaponry can prevent me from making my rounds and visiting each and every house this year. No lock can stop me; no security system can detect me. I travel in silence, hiding in shadow and waiting until you are sound asleep.

I'm waiting for you. Sleep. Sleep and dream.